⚡ FAA Solves Staffing Crisis By Withholding Pay From Understaffed Staff ⚡ Government Heroically Rescues Americans From Fees Government Created ⚡ Government Fires 256,000 Workers, Saves $0, Hires 104,000 More ⚡ Nation Celebrates 250 Years of Self-Governance by Asking for More Money to Cover Its Own Birthday Party ⚡ Department of Energy Lawyer Helpfully Explains That Science Grants Were Canceled Because Science Lives in the Wrong States ⚡ Congress Courageously Bans Itself From Buying Stocks It Already Owns
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2026 The Govment Gazette  ·  39 Articles Published
FAA Solves Staffing Crisis By Withholding Pay From Understaffed Staff
Fiscal Mysteries  ·  SEP 14, 2026

FAA Solves Staffing Crisis By Withholding Pay From Understaffed Staff

Agency to release raise once shortage is fixed; shortage to be fixed once raise is released.

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Latest Dispatches
Government Heroically Rescues Americans From Fees Government Created
Fiscal Mysteries

Government Heroically Rescues Americans From Fees Government Created

In a bold act of fiscal innovation, the White House announced $500 rebate checks for Americans overcharged on health insurance premiums — premiums that doubled or tripled after Congress let ACA subsidies expire this year. The administration, which previously promised $5,000 checks on Wednesday, $2,000 tariff dividends last fall, and $1,000–$1,500 HSA rebates that Congress rejected, assures the public this one is definitely real.

SEP 11, 2026 Read →
Government Fires 256,000 Workers, Saves $0, Hires 104,000 More
Fiscal Mysteries

Government Fires 256,000 Workers, Saves $0, Hires 104,000 More

The Department of Government Efficiency officially expired on Independence Day without a closing report, a transition plan, or a farewell — just a USAJobs page with 104,000 new listings. The IRS, which lost 27% of its workforce in the name of efficiency, is now fast-tracking 8,000 hires to handle the backlog created by the 27% it lost.

SEP 07, 2026 Read →
Nation Celebrates 250 Years of Self-Governance by Asking for More Money to Cover Its Own Birthday Party
Fiscal Mysteries

Nation Celebrates 250 Years of Self-Governance by Asking for More Money to Cover Its Own Birthday Party

Congress allocated $150 million so the country could throw itself a tasteful 250th birthday bash. A Trump-backed group called Freedom 250 spent most of it, then held the party anyway. Now they'd like $10 million more, which experts confirm is how birthdays work.

JUL 31, 2026 Read →

From the Govment Archives

01
FAA Solves Staffing Crisis By Withholding Pay From Understaffed Staff

Congress funded a 2.8% pay bump to lure more air traffic controllers to a system desperately short of air traffic controllers. The FAA is now withholding it until controllers demonstrate they are no longer short-staffed. The controllers are short-staffed.

02
Government Heroically Rescues Americans From Fees Government Created

In a bold act of fiscal innovation, the White House announced $500 rebate checks for Americans overcharged on health insurance premiums — premiums that doubled or tripled after Congress let ACA subsidies expire this year. The administration, which previously promised $5,000 checks on Wednesday, $2,000 tariff dividends last fall, and $1,000–$1,500 HSA rebates that Congress rejected, assures the public this one is definitely real.

03
Government Fires 256,000 Workers, Saves $0, Hires 104,000 More

The Department of Government Efficiency officially expired on Independence Day without a closing report, a transition plan, or a farewell — just a USAJobs page with 104,000 new listings. The IRS, which lost 27% of its workforce in the name of efficiency, is now fast-tracking 8,000 hires to handle the backlog created by the 27% it lost.

04
Nation Celebrates 250 Years of Self-Governance by Asking for More Money to Cover Its Own Birthday Party

Congress allocated $150 million so the country could throw itself a tasteful 250th birthday bash. A Trump-backed group called Freedom 250 spent most of it, then held the party anyway. Now they'd like $10 million more, which experts confirm is how birthdays work.

05
Department of Energy Lawyer Helpfully Explains That Science Grants Were Canceled Because Science Lives in the Wrong States

The Trump administration spent months insisting its cancellation of 284 federal energy research grants had absolutely nothing to do with politics. Its own lawyer then filed a document in federal court explaining that it had entirely to do with politics. The Department of Energy has not announced a budget line for irony.