Government Confirms Satellite Internet Was Definitely Throttled By Someone Who Is Not Anyone In Particular
The President doesn't know who did it. The billionaire who owns the satellites doesn't know who did it. The drones, however, do know what happened.
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Government Announces It Will Stop Spending Your Money On Ads About This Announcement
After promising on October 5th that his super PAC would take over funding for what the White House calls 'public service announcements,' the U.S. government spent another $10 million on pro-Trump TV ads anyway. A federal judge then ordered them off the air. They kept airing.
White House Clarifies: The White House's Paperwork Is Not Your Business
In arguments before a federal appeals court today, the Trump administration staked out the position that documents created inside the publicly-funded White House, by the publicly-salaried president, on behalf of the American public, are the personal property of Donald Trump. Historians, archivists, and anyone who has ever signed an employment contract expressed mild confusion.
Government Officially Solving AI Problems By Renaming Them
By executive order, the United States government has declared that Artificial Intelligence no longer exists. In its place stands Super Intelligence, which is defined, legally and technically, as exactly the same thing.
From the Govment Archives
Government Confirms Satellite Internet Was Definitely Throttled By Someone Who Is Not Anyone In Particular
A critical military satellite network serving an active war zone was mysteriously slowed — weakening Ukrainian drone defenses — and the U.S. government's official position is that nobody knows who flipped the switch. The President says it wasn't him. The man who owns the satellites says it's the government's call. The government says ask the man who owns the satellites.
Government Announces It Will Stop Spending Your Money On Ads About This Announcement
After promising on October 5th that his super PAC would take over funding for what the White House calls 'public service announcements,' the U.S. government spent another $10 million on pro-Trump TV ads anyway. A federal judge then ordered them off the air. They kept airing.
White House Clarifies: The White House's Paperwork Is Not Your Business
In arguments before a federal appeals court today, the Trump administration staked out the position that documents created inside the publicly-funded White House, by the publicly-salaried president, on behalf of the American public, are the personal property of Donald Trump. Historians, archivists, and anyone who has ever signed an employment contract expressed mild confusion.
Government Officially Solving AI Problems By Renaming Them
By executive order, the United States government has declared that Artificial Intelligence no longer exists. In its place stands Super Intelligence, which is defined, legally and technically, as exactly the same thing.
Government Solves AI By Renaming It
In a historic executive order, the federal government has officially defeated the challenges of artificial intelligence by instructing all agencies to call it something else. Experts confirm the robots are exactly as smart as they were before the signing ceremony.