DHS Solves Shutdown by Ordering Furloughed Workers to Come Back and Not Get Paid
Department discovers brilliant loophole: just pretend the shutdown isn't happening
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Labor Secretary Resigns Amid Workplace Misconduct Investigation While Leading Historic Workforce Reduction
Lori Chavez-DeRemer stepped down from leading the Labor Department following internal investigations into alleged workplace misconduct. The department's workforce had shrunk by 25% during her tenure.
Trump Re-Nominates FEMA Chief He Fired For Saying FEMA Should Exist
Less than a year after firing Cameron Hamilton for testifying that FEMA shouldn't be eliminated, Trump plans to nominate him to permanently run the agency. Hamilton was given a lie detector test and accidentally tipped off to his own firing.
Trump Administration Proposes Solving Government Building Maintenance Issues with Literal Magic Paint
The White House has formally submitted plans to coat the Eisenhower Executive Office Building with what Trump calls 'magic paint.' Preservation experts warn the miracle coating could cause irreversible damage to the 1888 structure.
From the Govment Archives
DHS Solves Shutdown by Ordering Furloughed Workers to Come Back and Not Get Paid
After 67 days of partial shutdown, Homeland Security has cracked the code on government efficiency. Simply order all furloughed employees back to work while remaining technically unfunded, creating what experts call 'Schrödinger's Payroll.'
Labor Secretary Resigns Amid Workplace Misconduct Investigation While Leading Historic Workforce Reduction
Lori Chavez-DeRemer stepped down from leading the Labor Department following internal investigations into alleged workplace misconduct. The department's workforce had shrunk by 25% during her tenure.
Trump Re-Nominates FEMA Chief He Fired For Saying FEMA Should Exist
Less than a year after firing Cameron Hamilton for testifying that FEMA shouldn't be eliminated, Trump plans to nominate him to permanently run the agency. Hamilton was given a lie detector test and accidentally tipped off to his own firing.
Trump Administration Proposes Solving Government Building Maintenance Issues with Literal Magic Paint
The White House has formally submitted plans to coat the Eisenhower Executive Office Building with what Trump calls 'magic paint.' Preservation experts warn the miracle coating could cause irreversible damage to the 1888 structure.
Nation's King Graciously Permits Millions to Publicly Protest Nation's King
Eight to nine million Americans freely assembled to announce that free assembly is under threat. The king, who is not a king, was unavailable for comment. The deleted video was also unavailable.