EXCLUSIVE: White House Releases Official UFC Freedom 250 Fight Card, Features Trump vs. Biden Main Event
Leaked press release reveals presidential bout, Supreme Court battle royal, and Senate vs. quorum undercard
Read Full Article
White House Releases Official Fight Card for UFC Freedom 250, Features Trump-Biden Rematch and Nine-Justice Battle Royal
The White House has officially announced the complete fight card for tonight's UFC Freedom 250 event on the South Lawn. The $700,000 lawn restoration is listed as a line item alongside fighter purses in the official event budget.
GSA Officials Successfully Locate Missing Field Office After Thorough Search of Building They've Been Paying Rent On
The General Services Administration, which oversees $500 billion in federal real estate, recently discovered their field office had either moved or disappeared entirely. The space was eventually found to be either vacant or occupied by a completely different agency.
White House Becomes First Federal Property to Require Waist-to-Height Ratio for Military Spectators
The Pentagon has issued specific body measurement requirements for military personnel attending the President's birthday UFC event. Because nothing says 'land of the free' like measuring soldiers' waistlines for entertainment access.
From the Govment Archives
EXCLUSIVE: White House Releases Official UFC Freedom 250 Fight Card, Features Trump vs. Biden Main Event
Govment.org has obtained the complete fight card for UFC Freedom 250, confirming rumors of a Trump-Biden rematch and revealing McConnell's undefeated 287-0 record. The $700,000 lawn repair is listed as a standard line item alongside fighter purses.
White House Releases Official Fight Card for UFC Freedom 250, Features Trump-Biden Rematch and Nine-Justice Battle Royal
The White House has officially announced the complete fight card for tonight's UFC Freedom 250 event on the South Lawn. The $700,000 lawn restoration is listed as a line item alongside fighter purses in the official event budget.
GSA Officials Successfully Locate Missing Field Office After Thorough Search of Building They've Been Paying Rent On
The General Services Administration, which oversees $500 billion in federal real estate, recently discovered their field office had either moved or disappeared entirely. The space was eventually found to be either vacant or occupied by a completely different agency.
White House Becomes First Federal Property to Require Waist-to-Height Ratio for Military Spectators
The Pentagon has issued specific body measurement requirements for military personnel attending the President's birthday UFC event. Because nothing says 'land of the free' like measuring soldiers' waistlines for entertainment access.
FEMA Disaster Chief's Teleportation Claims Create New Emergency for Trump Administration
Gregg Phillips, who oversees billions in disaster relief, insists he was supernaturally transported 50 miles to a Georgia restaurant. White House scrambles to contain the metaphysical crisis.