Government Announces It Will Stop Spending Your Money On Ads About This Announcement
For the low, low price of $22 million in taxpayer funds, the administration has confirmed it will no longer spend taxpayer funds — effective at some point.
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White House Clarifies: The White House's Paperwork Is Not Your Business
In arguments before a federal appeals court today, the Trump administration staked out the position that documents created inside the publicly-funded White House, by the publicly-salaried president, on behalf of the American public, are the personal property of Donald Trump. Historians, archivists, and anyone who has ever signed an employment contract expressed mild confusion.
Government Officially Solving AI Problems By Renaming Them
By executive order, the United States government has declared that Artificial Intelligence no longer exists. In its place stands Super Intelligence, which is defined, legally and technically, as exactly the same thing.
Government Solves AI By Renaming It
In a historic executive order, the federal government has officially defeated the challenges of artificial intelligence by instructing all agencies to call it something else. Experts confirm the robots are exactly as smart as they were before the signing ceremony.
From the Govment Archives
Government Announces It Will Stop Spending Your Money On Ads About This Announcement
After promising on October 5th that his super PAC would take over funding for what the White House calls 'public service announcements,' the U.S. government spent another $10 million on pro-Trump TV ads anyway. A federal judge then ordered them off the air. They kept airing.
White House Clarifies: The White House's Paperwork Is Not Your Business
In arguments before a federal appeals court today, the Trump administration staked out the position that documents created inside the publicly-funded White House, by the publicly-salaried president, on behalf of the American public, are the personal property of Donald Trump. Historians, archivists, and anyone who has ever signed an employment contract expressed mild confusion.
Government Officially Solving AI Problems By Renaming Them
By executive order, the United States government has declared that Artificial Intelligence no longer exists. In its place stands Super Intelligence, which is defined, legally and technically, as exactly the same thing.
Government Solves AI By Renaming It
In a historic executive order, the federal government has officially defeated the challenges of artificial intelligence by instructing all agencies to call it something else. Experts confirm the robots are exactly as smart as they were before the signing ceremony.
President Publishes Senator's Cell Number to Save Daylight, Reaches Voicemail
President Trump escalated his war on clock-changing by posting the personal cellphone number of Sen. Tom Cotton on Truth Social, urging all of Arkansas to call him about golf. When reporters dialed, the voicemail box was full — a fitting metaphor for the 119th Congress, which is wrapping up as the least productive two-year session in over half a century.